Feeling Overwhelmed? 3 Simple Steps.
It happens to all of us.
So here’s a quick 3-step blog to help get back on track.
It’s a big subject with big books written about it. This is a short blog; use it to research and understand more. My 3 steps are designed to be positive, easy to understand, and practical to implement.
1) Heed the advice, and don’t judge the advice giver.
“My Grandfather used to say one door closes another opens. He was a wise man. Terrible submarine captain, though”.
Okay, perhaps he was a terrible submariner. But the life advice was good!
Underlying message; be positive and don’t worry; life, the universe, God, all work in their own way and doors always open, no matter how much it may seem otherwise in a challenging moment.
James Altucher , John Assaraf, Tony Robbins, all these big-hitting life coaches are major successes in life-coaching (and all have had major business successes) and they all teach and advise wonderfully on every subject in life.
They also each experienced divorce, debt and what we commonly term as failure. They’d re-frame ‘failure’. Indeed that’s part of what makes them good at what they do and say. They’re human and they’re flawed – they’ll tell you this themselves – but they’ve also helped thousands of people, and those people love them for it.
If you need your advice-giver to be perfect, you’re going to be waiting a long time.
Who better to take advice from, than from those who have travelled the same roads we all do, and who experience the same life conditions we do?
A life coach sees lessons in the negatives (and positives). They can give you perception. You can gain strategies and tactics that help manage, avoid or beat negatives. When the advice and coaching improves your track record, it really doesn’t matter about perceived flaws in their track record.
If you’re looking towards the light (more on that in Point 2) you won’t see the flaws, you’ll see the value.
Nobody, but nobody, has ever got everything right.
2) Look towards the light; then PRACTICE.
There’s an old Indian story about a young man who asks his grandfather for advice. “Grandfather, I feel a fight inside me always, between dark and light; how best can I master this”?
The grandfather tells the boy, “I too have this battle, even now. Inside me are two wolves, always fighting. One wolf is mean and angry, a bad wolf; the other wolf is brave and protective, a good wolf.”
The young man listens and nods, “Yes, it feels that way with me. How do I ensure the good wolf wins”?
The older man replied, “It is simple. The wolf you feed will win, and the wolf you do not, will not”.
This is obviously a story about opposites; light and dark, positive and negative.
However it’s also about PRACTICE.
Learning a lesson is one thing, applying it is where the magic begins, and consistently applying it is where the magic spreads. That applies mentally, too.
This is not to say we are in total control over every imbalance of emotion and mental state we ever have. However, we have control over our decisions and input, which affect those states, those wolves.
In short, don’t worry about the wolves; PRACTICE feeding the right ones.
Some tips about practice are included below.
3) You don’t need to ‘beat’ anything.
Prime Minister Winston Churchill’s address to Harrow School on October 29, 1941.
‘Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never–in nothing, great or small, large or petty-never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy’.
Churchill suffered from the ‘black dog’, as he called it.
It’s an expression he used in reference to his depression. The quote, above, is a famous one. It’s often used when the Second World War is discussed. So it has connotations of victory.
However that’s not what the quote states. ‘Not giving in’ is not the same as ‘beating’ something. It’s something else entirely.
Churchill never did beat his depression. It’s arguable that anyone could, now that we know what depression really is. Like alcoholism, you could be successful in dealing with it whilst never being able to say you ‘beat’ it. But clearly, while not ‘beating’ his depression he was not of a mind to give in to his depression.
If you have the goal of beating something, that can be daunting before you even start.
It will take willpower – and that will run out.
It will take energy – and that will run out.
It will take resource – and that will run out.
And so on.
So… Chunk It!
Break the problem or challenge or goal into small pieces, and take it a piece at a time. Or even a piece of a piece! Why? Momentum, like a snowball gathering snow down a hill, builds to a powerful outcome.
Do something nice every day. One thing.
Do that and you won’t be failing anymore, and something inside you will know it, and each day will feel just a little different for it. The pleasure receptors in your brain will feel the buzz from that one nice thing and will begin to embrace the new habit, and before you know it the new habit will be part of ‘you’.
Surrender to the bigger things. You’ve too important to let them control you, so surrender. All the little things you’re doing will eventually diminish the bigger things. Like magic. Really.
Do a nice thing for someone else, even if that amounts to saying something nice. Text it. Use Facebook. Human beings are just like you – miracles, and more important than problems. Positive energy out, gets positive energy back. And you could do with that. We all could.
Start avoiding the things that created your problem or challenge in the first place. You can do that by simply reading wisdom on line. There’s loads of it. Go Google-mad for a while.
Log one important positive thing about yourself each day – if you’re introverted, think it and better still write it. If you’re an extrovert, go talk to someone. Use Facebook.
Do some of these simple, little things and already you are managing your situation and life.
You don’t need to beat anything, because doing lots of little things will beat the thing for you.
Sow the seeds and they grow.
Like Spring follows Winter.
Like a sea wave going out must have another coming in.
Do the small things consistently and everything changes.